Wedding Reminiscing

So... I never posted any pictures from our wedding. And I love any excuse to look at these again, and what better excuse than a year of being married! So here are some of (ok, a lot of) my favorite pictures from my very favorite day: 

Ahhhhhh. There is nothing better than being married in the temple. The Spirit was the strongest and most tangible I've ever felt.

Look how happy I am. I love it.

Best new sisters I could have ever asked for.

My best friends.

He loves me so much.

Hahaha I love how my mom never knows what to do with her hands. 

The boys.

Shaheed... The only person that loves Tanner as much as I do hahaha. I love them so much.

Tanner and Travis.

This pictures is the best and perfectly explains Mitch and Tanner.

Hayden!

Chloe needs to practice her kissing face.

"Do the Kenzie face" hahaha I'm too predictable.

Friends for 15 years. I am so glad I have Jackie.

Snow 105 Forever.

Recreating the selfie from when we first met.

My Lehi family. 

These pictures give me all the feels.

LOOK HOW CUTE. I feel like I was so overwhelmed on the actual wedding day I didn't get to fully appreciate how amazing everything turned out. Look at those waffles. 

Heyyyyy husband.

My bakery girls

I can't look at this picture without laughing. Katy's face is prime. I should make this into a meme.

Kat caught the bouquet!

Chloe has the moves hahahahahahaha.

I love Thomas doing the robot haha.

Coach Jamie- My biggest role model and one of my very favorite people

Sorry these are out of order but obviously something is so funny.

I wrote this down on my phone after the reception: "Today was the best day.  I can't believe my wedding day is seriously already over. It really was everything I ever hoped it would be. I woke up this morning bright and early and went over to Katy and Chloe and Megan's house where kat made breakfast and curled my hair and I got ready. Then Tanner and I left for the temple around 8:30 and got there and found my mom. The temple was incredible. The host lady helping me was the nicest person. I loved having my mom there to walk me

Through everything and be there for me. I really do have the greatest mom in the world. I love her so much. I love that I can tell her everything and she's so fun and just kind to everyone and so selfless. So Tanner and I got all dressed up in our temple clothes and went upstairs and waited for everyone. It was finally time for us to go to the sealing room. I walked in the room and was just filled with joy. I loved seeing everyone that loves me. All my family, Emily, Lacey, tanners friends and family. And then when we knelt across the altar and we were finally husband and wife forever- there's nothing to describe the happiness and peace I felt knowing that I have tanner forever and that we've lived worthy enough to be married in God's house forever. Tanner even teared up a little. I just felt the spirit so strong. I know marrying tanner was the right decision. He's everything to me and he's everything I could ever want. He's kind he's smart he's funny he takes the best care of me he's just wonderful. Then we went outside and saw everyone waiting for us and it was awesome and it was fun taking pictures and just seeing everyone so happy. Then we went to the luncheon and ate sandwiches. Then we went to Travis's for a while. Then we went to the reception and got stuck in traffic so bad and I was freaking out but we made it and ate a waffle. The reception was awesome everything was so cute and it was so cool to have so many people there to congratulate us. My favorite people to see were coach Rowe, coach Jamie, Cait, my bakery girls, and even 2 of my seminary teachers came. That was so thoughtful and awesome. Wow. One of my favorite parts of the reception was dancing to "watch me whip" with cam. I love that girl so much. My sisters are the coolest people I know. I teared up hard when dancing with my dad. I'm all grown up and that's so crazy. It was just such a great day. I have the greatest family that loves me so much. My mom has put so much effort into today and she loves me so much. My dad always takes such good care of our family and is such a good example. And my grandparents are so awesome and my aunts and uncles- all my dad's siblings were there! And tanner's friends are so great it's like another little family I'm now apart of. I'm just happy. Tanner is the very best. He was so cute all day just saying how beautiful I looked. Ugh. I wish I could live this day all over again. But I'm pretty sure we will have a dang good life."

I know it's so jumbled and doesn't even make sense. I wish I could remember what the sealer said and more specific details about the day but I just don't. But I love that what I wrote down was how much I felt people's love for me and how much love I felt for others. That's really what marriage is all about- love and family. I am so blessed. Sometimes I wish I could relive that day, but I am so much better than I was then. I have learned so much and Tanner and I have gotten so much closer. 

So here are some things I've learned from marriage so far:

-Don't expect your honeymoon to be perfect hahaha. Ours was definitely not. It is so hard adjusting from not being able to do anything except kiss to suddenly being expected to do everything in one night. It's uncomfortable, no one knows what they're doing, and frankly it's pretty painful haha. (TMI?) And it definitely wasn't what I expected it to be! And it's ok if you feel weird during your honeymoon. Like you're just barely married and that's so weird because now you have to hang out with a guy all day. I expected my honeymoon to be so romantic and when it wasn't that way and we had some challenges I got really upset. I just wish I'd known that it's ok that things aren't perfect at first and that they definitely get better. 

-Your marriage is not the same as everyone else's. The BIGGEST struggles I have had have been when I expect marriage to be a certain way because I've seen someone post something on Instagram. Like when I think that Tanner should bring me flowers and clean the house all the time because I saw someone else post that their husband did that. It's so hard to not compare yourself to others, especially when everyone else looks so happy. I often felt like I was failing at marriage because I had days when I was sad and upset and it didn't seem like anyone else did. But Tanner always says, we aren't everyone else! And no one is perfect, no matter how perfect they may try to get themselves to appear ;) 

-I've really had to take a hard look at myself and the habits I have and that is HARD. When we were first married I would get so mad and just FREAK OUT about tiny little things because I didn't know how to control my emotions and I didn't know how to handle differences. And I never wanted to admit I was wrong. And I still don't because I'm really selfish and I struggle with criticism and improvement. I tend to blame my problems on Tanner and that's not good. So basically I've learned that I am still not the best at being selfless and willing to improve, but I am getting better. Tanner is patient and so good to me. He is always helping me to control my emotions and be patient by giving me opportunities to do so. He doesn't just solve our problems he makes me solve my problems on my own. He always makes me talk about what's bothering me even if I am so mad and refuse to do it. And I get so mad at him but I'm so thankful that he makes me do it because it really helps. (this made no sense. that's fine)

-Everyone always says that communication is key in marriage and it really is. But sometimes it sucks. Cuz sometimes I don't want to talk about stuff. Because I'm prideful and I don't want to say my problems and worries out loud haha. But I'm really glad Tanner is the best and is always making us communicate. Go Tanner, he holds this marriage together haha

-I've learned to relax more haha I used to always want to be doing something but now I am sometimes ok with just chilling and watching Netflix and that is really good for me because I needed to learn to relax sometimes. 

-I really appreciate Tanner's ability to quickly forgive. I'm so glad that he is always willing to forgive me for my mistakes. That's the best way to show love ever. The times I've felt closest to him was when one of us was at our most vulnerable and we worked together to overcome our weaknesses. Teamwork doesn't seem work. 

-I feel like ever since being married I've learned to be more independent which seems like the opposite of what would happen. But, I've had to learn the things that I am passionate about and the things that I like doing, regardless of what Tanner likes. And I love that no matter what I care about, even if Tanner doesn't, he is always going to be there to support me. 

-I've learned that road trips are the best! 

-I've learned that if you have 2 separate blankets at night you'll sleep a lot better.

-I've learned that if you don't have anything to do you should just go walk around Walmart or Best Buy. 

-I've learned that Pizza Pie Cafe has lots of deals that save your life when you don't want to cook anything (which is basically every night).

-I've learned that falling asleep to the Office is the only way to fall asleep.

-I've learned that Tanner and I are really good at corn hole.

There are so many things I've learned that I can't think of and can't put into words. I am so much more now than I ever have been. Tanner really is everything that I want to be. It seems that every area I struggle with, Tanner excels at. He is kind, patient, hard working, passionate, driven, loving, smart, and everything good in the world. And he is happy 100% of the time. I am not. haha. I have a tendency to see the bad in myself and in everything around me, but I'm so glad that Tanner sees the best in me and the best in the world around us. He is straight sunshine.

I love you, Tanner. Thanks for making this year the best one yet and thanks for being the very best part of me. 

YEAR TWO, BRING IT ON.